Don't Fall for Pride.. Pride Goes Before Another Fall..

We all love compliments. Whether it be about our clothes, new hairdo, new car or even if it's about our character, personality - every person enjoys being appreciated for who they are or what they do. It's in our very nature. We can't help "expecting" people to say a good word for the effort we take each day. It's what motivates us, encourages us to keep doing what we do.

But the question here is, how much of pride are we falling for each time we accept a compliment?

(I will only be dealing with one aspect of pride in this blog.)

Let's analyze the situation.

I personally believe there is always something good that you can find in a person. Any person. I also agree that not everyone is perfect. Every person, unique in their own way are good at something. 

So, in the end we can safely conclude that no matter who you are, there is always something to appreciate in you. And you can take that as a compliment. :)

If someone were to sincerely give you an unexpected compliment, how would you react? For example,  "You sing so well!" or "You are such a reliable employee here, because you work hard!". Let it be in any aspect of your life. Think of the first thing you would say. Most of the time, to avoid the awkward gap of silence that can follow, we profusely thank the person. We are much too delighted, to give a second thought about what exactly we ought to be thankful for. We might, on many an occasion complete the rest of that sentence in our heads. Was it more like, "Thank you for finally noticing that about me!" or was it " Thank you. I know I earned that compliment"?

Think of those school days, when you had to do projects to submit in class. Crazy art stuff with paper cutting and painting. For those of us, who have absolutely no interest in things like that, but at the same time desperately need the Art grade, we have family to help us out. Mothers are, in a way provided for those random school projects that we need to get done before a deadline. In the end, when your project turns out to be way better than the rest of the class and you are awarded with top grades (not to mention the envious looks from your classmates!) who gets the credit?

When we know deep inside, who it was that did all the work, we wouldn't hesitate to move away from the spotlight. We might actually feel ashamed that we didn't do enough to get all that credit for ourselves.

We are living in the age of endless social media connections. In a world where, people spend so much time 'socializing' in front of a screen in their own homes/workplaces. Each picture or status we post in our space/Wall, we do it expecting our friends and acquaintances to 'tweet', 'like' or 'comment' on it. My brother Lazarus, mentioned in his blog about our daily addiction to keep checking our smartphones for notifications (read - http://bethanytidings.blogspot.in/2014/05/likesharetweet-repeat.html)

We long for people to 'like' us. Imagine! The click of a LIKE button (whether sincerely or not) is all we ask for today to get noticed. To become recognized/appreciated. That's the height of 'falling for pride'.

So how is it with God? Why do you have to give glory to Him for something that you worked so hard for? At the finish line of a race, all you would think about are those gruesome days of your training. The endless effort that you had to take, to achieve something as great as the first place in a competition.

Think of all those weight loss programs, and imagine how many days of sweating and 'burning the fat' you have to do to get to your goal, not to mention the yummy delicacies that you have to say No to, so you would gain your prize. How does God come into your picture?

My question is, why wouldn't He be in the picture? Your very existence is proof that He is working in you. The reason why you wake up every morning, is because you didn't die in your sleep and that is only because He has not given up on you. According to His schedule for you today, you will live once more in this world.

"...Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;

    all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
   The days of my life all prepared
     before I’d even lived one day." Psalm 139:16 (MSG)

And if that isn't reason enough, listen to what Paul says to the Ephesians, "For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

If you truly believe that you were saved by grace, ("For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast." Ephesians 2:8,9)  the Scripture urges us to "continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose." Philippians 2:12,13 (NIV) 

I have nothing more to add to what Apostle Paul says "....Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." 1 Corinthians 15:58 (NIV)

I have realized that quite often, I respond to compliments (out loud) with just a 'Thank You'. But I have really wished that I could have said something more. Like, "Oh! It was only because God enabled me." or maybe "It's all because of His grace." I could have easily used that opportunity to re-direct the honor to Someone who deserved it more than I did. But how can we do that without sounding so cheesy and fake? The root of that problem I have realized is the way we look at ourselves. True, in our heart of hearts, we praise God for what He has done. In the quiet of our rooms, we do shed tears of joy, while thanking Him for His mercies. So, is there any need in proclaiming it out on the streets?

That's where the Psalmist tells us, 

            "I desire to do your will, my God;your law is within my heart. I proclaim your saving acts in the great assembly; I do not seal my lips, Lord,as you know.I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and your saving help. I do not conceal your love and your faithfulness from the great assembly." Psalm 40: 8-10

The crowd we respond to are not just people from our church or family. Every person we interact with, has to hear us say it.

          "Sing the praises of the Lord, enthroned in Zion;
                 proclaim among the nations what he has done." Psalm 9:11 (NIV)

And doesn't nature itself show you how to do it? 

          "The heavens declare the glory of God;
              the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Psalm 19:1 (NIV)

With absolutely no time constraints, 

               "proclaiming your love in the morning

                        and your faithfulness at night," Psalm 92:2 (NIV)

That is how and why we do it. These are but few portions from the innumerable passages in the Bible that speak of this same thing. This same concept applies to those year-end testimony meetings at church. You are truly thankful-and even if you are not-you were created for the purpose to honor and glorify your Creator. If your ego is gluing you down to your seat, then you better start praying for ways to let go of that. Remember you do not stand in a company of mere humans, but also in the presence of angels and demons alike, who watch (over) you every single day. Even as you are reading this, there are four living creatures and 24 elders worshiping the Creator incessantly. 

"And the four living creatures, each one of them having six wings, are full of eyes around and within; and day and night they do not cease to say,

“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God, the Almighty, who was and who is and who is to come.”

And when the living creatures give glory and honor and thanks to Him who sits on the throne, to Him who lives forever and ever, the twenty-four elders will fall down before Him who sits on the throne, and will worship Him who lives forever and ever, and will cast their crowns before the throne, saying, “Worthy are You, our Lord and our God, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things, and because of Your will they existed, and were created.” Revelations 4: 8-11(NASB)

When we realize this truth, nothing should be able to stop us from glorifying this God. 

Therefore, watch out for moments when the ball is in your court. Consider every compliment as an opportunity to shift the focus from you to Your Savior. Remember, you can convey more in a conversation like that, than on a stage preaching for hours together about how His grace works in you. Maybe that is why God chose to make you special and unique. He would love it more than anything else to see His children being complimented even on the little things -like finishing your work on time, staying physically fit, being honest to your friend etc.

Now what about being generous in giving compliments? I strongly believe that words of praise should be conveyed appropriately to a deserving person. The Bible does tell us that encouragement should not be withheld and that every effort must be made to 'build up' and not to 'put down'.

"Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing. But we request of you, brethren, that you appreciate those who diligently labor among you, and have charge over you in the Lord and give you instruction, and that you esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Live in peace with one another. We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 1 Thessalonians 5:11-14 (NASB)

So, is it possible to glorify God when giving compliments? Apostle Paul did that in a very fitting manner when he wrote to the Philippians,

" Every time you cross my mind, I break out in exclamations of thanks to God. Each exclamation is a trigger to prayer. I find myself praying for you with a glad heart. I am so pleased that you have continued on in this with us, believing and proclaiming God’s Message, from the day you heard it right up to the present. There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears." Philippians 1:3-6 (MSG)

Be prepared to give and receive compliments. It's better to start out small, perfect yourself in the little things, before you go out to glorify your Savior in greater things. (Matt 25:21)

Be prepared not to fall for pride, only because pride goes before another fall..

Praise God for this is the end of my lengthy blog.. :-P 

May His name alone be glorified..

#Martha

Like,Share,Tweet, Repeat.!!!

Sam just got home from school. Although starving to grab his lunch, his first instinct was to search out for his smart phone and get to know the latest status updates and twitter feeds. At lunch, he would be swiping his fingers across the device even as his Mom yells in the background to get his  hands off it. He never gets his hands off it until late at night he dozes off as the battery goes down. Rise and Shine !, a new day awakens and off he rises from bed to charge his dead phone for another day of the exciting virtual cycle. Like, share, tweet, chat and what not...the cycle goes on.

Sam represents the typical youth of today. Out for dinner, shopping at the grocer's store, visiting a friend's home or taking a walk in the park ,What matters today is connectivity!. Hey ,Do you have Wifi?, would be the first question you encounter from a friend visiting your home today . We are so buzz with what's going on.We want to stay connected with everybody all the time. Has social media and all this digital hungama become so part of our everyday life that we seldom can live without it?.

I recently watched a video titled 'Look up' that went viral in social media circles .It was an eye opener into what was actually going on. People were missing out on many important aspects of life in the midst of this virtual connectivity. We don't have time to talk to one another yet we chat for hours together. We have lost the value of real relationships and quality time spend together. We are hooked to the world of false emotions relayed through emoticons. Recent surveys have reported that the bulk of the office times of employees in many companies have been occupied by social media.

As believers, we are accountable to God for every moment of our life that we are entrusted with. We must not be tricked in the web of social media. Of course, there are infinite possibilities to use new media for ministry purposes. But the problem arises when we miss out on the important things in life as a result of the overuse of social media. I have felt the urge to check on new updates every single hour. A new chat message, a new friend request,a tweet, a share, a like etc is all what takes to excite the consumer of today. With over billions of users, the world's leading social media companies like Facebook or Whatsapp clearly understand user behavior and they have modeled the functionality of their applications in such a way that ensures back to back visits by the user and hence maintain the continuum.

So what shall I do? Shall I delete all my social media accounts and stay out of all this?. Well, that doesn't solve the problem. I had once deleted my Facebook account and even uninstalled Whatsapp on my cell phone. But that still didn't solve the problem.I still had the desire to go back once in a while, activate the account and check on my friends.

I feel that the problem of social media is its reach. We have access to countless people from various geographical settings and the content generated as a result in the form of videos, images or posts contain a lot of detail that we cant miss out on. Perhaps, it is the breaking news, the match score, the pictures of your friend's wedding which you had missed, your long lost childhood buddy etc. The list can go on for miles. You cant miss a day of it for it has become your first choice of communication for every bit of news.

Today, we have apps for Bible devotions and access to the very best sermons from our choice of speakers. The Bible believing churches in some countries have gone one step ahead in even conducting online worship services and replacing all of their hardcopy Bibles with tabs and apps for reading purposes. Has the technology invasion proved fatal or useful? Of course it has simplified a lot of our work and minimized time in searching for a particular Bible verse, portion etc. But the question again is Have we lost the sanctity and quality of our devotions?. We have made technology do all the work while we seldom take time to actually meditate upon what we have read or spend some quality time in prayer.

Apostle Paul says in I Cor 6:12

"All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any."

As true followers of Christ, we have an obligation to serve our Lord and Master. We must not be mastered by any of the things in the world for we are not of the world. Our earthly service is directed towards eternity and as a result our actions should resemble the same. I am not saying that we must abstain from all forms of technology. But the point here is one of wisdom. Although we are given freedom to exercise whatever God has granted us freely, we also do have a responsibility to chose those things that are useful and keep from being mastered by any. Be all there but be not mastered by any. Always prioritize Christ in every thing that you engage in. Never continue in any activity that you feel is addictive and taking much of your useful time.

Let us redeem the time as the days are evil and make no room for the evil one to make us fall. God bless...

DAVID - A man after God's own heart

Every time when someone asks me, who my favorite character in the Bible is apart from Jesus; I would always raise my head and say its king David.

Yes for sure its David, the man after God's own heart. As a small boy, this man won the hearts of many Israelites by killing Goliath the giant with a sling and stone. As years passed by, this boy grew up to be a humble man who never once raised his hand against his enemy king Saul. And whenever someone provoked him to attack Saul, he would shut their mouths by saying he would not raise a hand against the Lord's anointed. Later after the death of Saul, David was proclaimed king and he did not hold back to keep his promise with Jonathan to show kindness to Jonathan's son Mephibosheth even if he was the grandson of Saul.

Now you would say, wait a minute ; are you going to only say about the story of David and Goliath? Do not forget the story of David and Bathsheba.

Yes, yes! I am coming there. Bible is a book that not only records the good characters of the warriors of God but  also their falls in life.And it is through their failures that we receive prior warning in our Christian lives to remind us that we are all alike and prone to falling.

One of David's greatest fall was his sin with Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah. And to cover that sin, David indirectly murdered Uriah and took Bathsheba to be his wife.

Now tell me, how is this man recorded to be "The man after God's own heart"?

As the acts of king David displeased the Lord,God send to David, prophet Nathan. Nathan explained to David his sin by means of a parable. Nathan told David about a rich man and a poor man. Nathan said “There were two men in one city, one rich and the other poor. The rich man had exceedingly many flocks and herds. But the poor man had nothing, except one little ewe lamb which he had bought and nourished; and it grew up together with him and with his children. It ate of his own food and drank from his own cup and lay in his bosom; and it was like a daughter to him. And a traveler came to the rich man, who refused to take from his own flock and from his own herd to prepare one for the wayfaring man who had come to him; but he took the poor man’s lamb and prepared it for the man who had come to him.” On hearing this story, the anger of king David was aroused against the rich man and David said to Nathan " As the Lord lives, the man who has done this shall surely die.. "

And a fierce reply comes to David from Nathan "You are the man".

David the king has already proclaimed the judgement of the rich man in the parable. Now David is that rich man. The Lord speaks to David through His prophet about breaking three important commandments of the Mosaic Law-

       - You shall not covet your neighbor's wife
       - You shall not commit adultery.
       - You shall not murder.

In 2 Samuel 12:10 God speaks ".... the sword shall never depart from your house.."

To all this what was David's response? Remember David was a king. He can do anything.

In a similar situation of king Asa in 2 Chronicles 16, when Hanani the seer comes to Asa, king of Judah with a message from God about His sin, we find Asa's response in verse 10. Asa was angry with the seer and put him to prison.

Another similar situation of king Ahab is seen in 1 Kings 20, when a certain man of the sons of prophets comes before Ahab and proclaims the condemnation of king Ahab. In verse 43 we read the king of Israel went to his house sullen and displeased.

But Bible records a completely different response of king David. In 2 Samuel 12: 13, So David said to Nathan "I have sinned against the Lord" And Nathan said to David "The Lord also has put away your sin; you shall not die."

A king who swiftly confesses his sin because he has truly known the King of kings. In another situation of David's sin, David says in 2 Samuel 24: 14 " ... Please let us fall into the hand of the Lord, for His mercies are great:..." David knows there is no running. David stops.

Dear friends, Is God sending warnings that you are ignoring today? Are you angry in response to God or are you sullen and displeased?
I find myself often sullen in response to God's corrections. Feeling as if there is no way back to His presence. But David has a better lesson to teach, for we serve a God who is swift to forgive.

Tell me dear friends, Did David face the consequences of his sins? He sure did. The death of David's son is recorded in the next chapter in 2 Samuel. And lets not forget the story of Amnon and Tamar.

But yet David's confession made him get back to the presence of God. And thus His title
    David- A man after God's own heart

As we flip the books of the Bible and come to the New Testament. In Hebrews 11 when the men of faith are recorded; verse 32 King David finds a place too. Not his son Solomon the most wisest person on earth who built a great temple for God, but his father king David for he walked with God.

#M@RY

The Ultimate Solution to The "Age Old" Problem..

There are certain things in life that are inevitable. Death is for one, the most predictable thing you could say about a person the minute he/she is born. Growing old is another. I have always wondered what goes on in the minds of our senior citizens, every old man and woman in their late 60s or 70s. If they are not bedridden by then, they are among the lucky few, who can actually move around and get things done by themselves. In our fast-paced world, where everything - including our attention span, that lasts hardly 5 minutes these days - it is impossible to "slow down & enjoy the moment". I believe growing old is God's way of teaching us how to do just that. 

Let's say, you are in your late 70s right now. Thanks to the current lifestyle, you can take your pick from a wide range of co-morbidities (including the most popular - diabetes, hypertension and dyslipidemia) to accompany you in your old age. This is not a self-evaluation session. I do not expect you to have an amazing revelation and make life-changing decisions at this point in your life. So, at the very ripe (and soggy!) age of eighty, undoubtedly experience would have taught you enough and more to help you live the rest of your years/months. As each decade flew by, you would have played all your family roles - child, sibling, spouse, parent, in-law, grandparent. You would have had all your 'first-timers' in relationships and learnt from your mistakes. 

"All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players,
They have their exits and entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,"

These famous lines are from William Shakespeare's "The Seven Ages of Man". 

No matter the number of ages that pass by on this stage, every person has to follow the Ultimate Script.Psalm 139:16  says 

"Your eyes saw me when I was formless;
all my days were written in Your book and planned
before a single one of them began." 

What is the world's approach to something as inevitable as ageing? 

Think - fight, fright, flight. There is always a "fight" approach that the world takes on against any of its adversaries. We have endless brands showcasing countless products that help defy ageing. We do fall prey for items such as these, which help delay the process so that we have time to continue "making the difference" that we think we do everyday only because we appear young. We understand that these are futile attempts even as we purchase creams, dyes and what not. The 'ugly truth' stares at us as a mirror reflection, days after we run out of stock.

Now read this verse :

"Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day." (2 Corinthians 4:16)(HCSB)

This is taken from the Apostle Paul's Epistle to the Corinthians, where he is emphasizing on something far more important than what is actually happening to us on the outside, as time passes by. 

The long story short.

When sin entered this world, Death walked in too and greeted us all. (Romans 5:12) But even as Adam brought this upon us, our Creator decided to work on the inside to replace (and not just repair) man's heart.  

(Ezekiel 11:19) (HCSB) "And I will give them one heart and put a new spirit within them; I will remove their heart of stone from their bodies and give them a heart of flesh,"

The minute we accept this Creator as our Savior and Lord, there is a new creation that is no longer 'condemned to die' inside of us because the price was paid on the Cross where Jesus Christ died.(2 Corinthians 5:17)(NIV)"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" So the new creation that we really are on the inside, keeps growing and is thus being renewed day by day.

   

When the root cause is removed or done away with, there is definitely room for growth. 

I like the word "renew". Its shows progress, a difference that is obvious to anyone. In a good way. I have met many old men and women of God, who have their inner person being renewed daily. It is obvious in the way they talk, behave and respond to everything in life. Even if life is dull and lonelier than ever before, even when health does not permit joys of a life enjoyed in youth, they still manage to smile and live with no complaints. To enjoy such peace during a time like that, i believe it is possible only for the heroes of faith. The very same heroes who hope and wait eagerly for the second coming of their true Savior. 

And so, the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ remains even to this day, the only free product (without advertisements!) that offers true beauty to your soul, body and mind. This product is supplied life-long, in daily sufficient amounts.

(2 Corinthians 12:9)(NASB)" And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."

It will most definitely provide you with that irresistible glow which will draw more people to you, so you can introduce them to your Supplier in heaven.

There you have it, the ultimate solution to your Ageing problem. :)

A few lines from one of my all-time favorite songs should help you in the coming days. 

" Like Eagles" by Don Moen which is based on (Isaiah 40:31)(HCSB).

'... and i will soar on wings like eagles, 

     held by the hand of God.

     I will run, and not grow tired

     for on His name I call.

     For the Lord is never weary

     His ways are beyond our thoughts

     I will trust in Him

     with all my heart..." 

And as we cross our 60s, 70s and 80s, let this be our prayer along with the psalmist:

"Even when I am old and gray,

God, do not abandon me.
Then I will proclaim Your power
to another generation,
Your strength to all who are to come." (Psalm 71:18)

May His great name be glorified.

#Martha

Heartbreak

Everyone has had one heartbreak. Not necessarily from a person in the opposite sex. Not just the bf gf kind-heartbreak. But just from someone who used to be very special and very close to your heart. I said "used to be" because things might never be the same between the two of you now.

I've sort of divided the post-heartbreak stages of our lives because I'm someone who has gone through many a heartbreak, And by God's grace I have been able to overcome them all even during very hard times.

I'll be talking first from the side of a person who has been hurt. I'll also be covering the same topic from the point of the person who caused the heartbreak too. The "hurter".

Medically, this can be considered as a pathological condition. As in, it can have an acute (following a crisis event. Eg: a fight) or a chronic onset (like where you just grow distant and slowly never keep in touch anymore)

Whatever the case,

There will be a:

1. Shock phase- mostly seen in the acute condition. Where u wouldn't know what to do. Or say. If its a situation where you were at fault then there definitely wouldn't be anything to say at this point. You would only end up making the person all the more angry or hurt. Remember one thing though, it's always better to shut up.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

Well maybe not an actual court of law. See, it may look like you lost the argument, but many a time when I look back into my life, I'm actually glad I never spoke back.

Most often you might be able to get out of it with your dignity intact.

I'm not saying that shutting up for every situation is going to help u. It's just that silence is a better option for Christians like us.

2. The hurt

Reality seems to set in. The memories flashback like crazy, sometimes so strong that you would start mumbling to yourself about how you could have responed. The whole conversation plays over and over again differently making you feel like an idiot - a pathetic loser. And you are soo hurt now. You don't want to talk to anyone. You would rather be alone in your room for a while.

3. Cry

Crying helps really. You feel better by the end of a 'moaning and wailing' session because you know it totally lets out all your feelings. Something I do during times like this, is take a sheet of paper and write. Just go on writing lengths and lengths about my feelings mainly addressed to God, arguing out my side of the story. This has been one of my major anger management techniques. In the end, I look at my masterpiece creation. It's a work of art. Imagine, all your sorrow, anger and bitterness poured compiled into a book of Lamentations. And then, in one dramatic move, shred them into tiny pieces to scatter in the wind (or well, just dump the whole lot into the bin). All gone. And it does work. You will definitely feel peace after this. Some prefer falling down on their knees to pray,crying their hearts out.. I prefer writing than talking because it hurts to talk (with an emotional lump so big in your throat) and also because the thoughts fly like crazy inside my head- it is hard to layer them out one by one. 

Any other ways to handle this situation ? 

Hang out with friends, yes this can help forget - temporarily. But you'll always have to battle it out on your own at some point right ?

4 Regret

This comes along usually around the same time as the hurt n crying. "Why did we become friends in the first place? Why did I love this person so much? Why did I allow the relationship to go this far?" If in a day, the time you spent talking to this person was more than even 40% of your total social time, then you'll observe that in the coming days you have a LOT of spare time. Congratulations! A lot of time to be alone, a lot of time to think and rethink the situation, play it over in your head. You might even think of solutions to get back even if your dignity is at stake just because you cannot bear the solitude and the silence. I'd like to call that a RELAPSE. Yes .. This is one of the toughest times that I've had to face.

Try keeping yourself near believers during this time. Your spiritual siblings. Even if it's a situation that they wouldn't understand completely, you should realize that you need fellowship to keep reminding you that it's not the end of the world.

5. Ego

The ego phase is when you have decided to move on to the other extreme of your character. The kind where nothing matters anymore and you don't care what's happening in that persons life although in your heart of hearts you wish for things to change. Would you want a small smile or a hi-bye kind of communication with such a person after this whole scenario? I guess the Ego phase depends on whether you have to meet this person again the next day and everyday after that. The emotion sort of aggravates if you see them anywhere around you. But shamelessly, out of the corner of your eye you notice the person is completely normal, no change what so ever. Actually because you are so hypersensitive at a time like this, you even have delusions that the person is happier now, more content. And well, it only makes u feel worse in the end.

I'll admit, it is hard for me to pretend I like someone. Ego is yet another defense mechanism that you can pick, to deal with your hurt till you are ready to face the world. Just be careful that you don't let the sun go down while you are still angry tonight. In your anger do not sin (Eph 4:26) Ask God to help you forgive. Even if you can't forget what happened- forgive. From now on, as many times as you want to be forgiven, you will have to learn to forgive too. During our hard times, all we can think of and remember are our bad times. So, try this for a change: focus on all the good. All the blessings, starting from an amazing family, provisions, spiritual wisdom, friends.. Everything one by one- I have literally counted my blessings at night till I lost count and dozed off. It works.

6. Gossips

Some people tend to retaliate with gossip. I'll admit I've done this too. Yes, i used to be a real bad person. Just so that I can get some sympathy, Some source of comfort. Yea, made the offender look like the bad guy. The most cruel person ever. Curtains close. At the end of the day, you would have set a forest on fire. Truthfully, the amount of damage that your tongue can cause is equivalent to a nuclear reactor doubling and tripling the explosions at every count. You'll never know how much disaster you would have caused with your statements,comments etc till it hits right back at u. It could take a day. It could take months. Maybe just enough time for you to forget what was it that you said. Funny part is, all along you would have been SO wrong. i learnt all this the hard way, and it is only because of God's abundant grace that i realized that His comfort was all that i ever needed. i found forgiveness at the foot of the cross and i was able to move on in life because of Jesus Christ. i always think twice before talking out loud now, because His Spirit controls me. Sooo,  

Be very careful about the words you say when you are hurt,angry and happy even.

At the height of emotions, our level of clear-headedness is zero. Never ever make promises during this time. Highly dangerous. Eg: the king Herod who was so happy on his birthday promised to offer ANYTHING to the little girl who danced in his presence. What did she ask him? Matt 14:6,7,8

Now talking it out with your spiritual mentor is different. Not mentorS. Just consult 1 person for your current problem. I have been able to find comfort in somebody just like that -It's someone who would totally understand your situation and give you support from the scripture as to how you should move on. That same person will also help you in prayer. It's best if its someone from the same sex. That's entirely my opinion. I don't have scriptural evidence for that. But I believe it is a very vulnerable time for us. Emotionally we are very weak and highly prone to attachment of any kind if we tend to share our feelings and thoughts. So it's best if it's sister-to-sister and brother-to-brother. That's all.

Remember, keeping a mentor has a side called accountability to it. If you ask a senior for support and prayers regarding something, you are actually giving her/him the right to meddle in that aspect of your life. To keep probing you and asking if everything's okay. Most people wouldn't like that. But remember, even if your mentor doesn't do all that, you are accountable to give a weekly report about how things are working out for you. She / he will be praying. So, they really need to know out of love, how you are doing. 

Now all this while, if you look back to the week after your crisis event you will realize that you would have spent a lot of time in prayer and  communion with The Lord. Which might be the only good thing that came out of all this! Most of the time, the constant praying and pleading with God, helped me forget every memory of that person and stopped me from contacting that person ( including the temptation to write an offending reply). It was enough to change me from being so dramatic and over reactive to this situation. And most of all, it kept reminding me never to expect anything from anyone. We only end up hurting ourselves more by doing so.

Now supposing u r "the Hurter",

The cause of all this. You are tired of this relationship. You feel the need to move on and you understand your priorities have changed. Or maybe it's just that you realized you will never be able to fulfill the promises that u made. Maybe circumstances are pushing you to the edge and you want to end it all so you can start over or be on your own for a while. Maybe you have been convicted about this relationship. It's taking ur time to be with The Lord. The person is only being another obstacle or a hindrance to your personal relationship with The Lord.

Just remember, there is never an easy way to say good bye. A lot of prayer is required before you deal with situations like this. If it's for the Lord and if it is so that you can come closer to the Lord- rapid action has to be taken. You cannot delay. And most often, only the radical measures work. Cutting yourself off completely. No more contact. No more last words or goodbyes. That would be like reasoning it out and creating a compromise which would bring you back to square one. I've done this. I've failed to do it too. But I've realized that it is important to lay aside everything that tangles you and stops you from growing in The Lord.

Bible examples of hurt:

Peter and Jesus.

I doubt if there's a greater example of hurt that could illustrate this. I've mentioned this part before where Jesus turned and looked straight at Peter. It's not mentioned anywhere else in the Gospels except in Luke. (22:61) because Luke got his most of his facts from Peter. It must have been the hardest thing ever for Peter to look at His face. The one with whom he spent everyday after leaving all. That would be almost 100% of his time, don't you think? They lived, walked, talked and ate together. They form an ideal example for best friends, hostel mates, unit mates all packed in one.

How did Jesus handle this hurt? Not a word. Not a single word.

No "I told u so", no display of anger and disappointment. He went on ahead with the plan and purpose for which He was sent for.

Samson and Delilah

A sad love story. Judges 16

Although there is no recorded interaction between these characters after the actual betrayal, we see that something extremely cruel. was required to bring Samson back to God. Even though it was the at the last hour.

Joseph and the cup bearer Gen 40:13,14

Joseph used to attend daily to both the chief cup bearer and the chief baker of the King of Egypt. I don't know if this should be a heartbreak. Although I do understand this as a chronic kind of one where u don't ever keep in touch , You drift away and choose to forget people who actually helped you out or once meant a lot to you.

Sometimes people say or do things that hurt you, but you have the God-given ability to love these people. None of us are excluded from depression and discouragement but we have a promise of hope in Jesus.

It can be quite normal to experience Hurt as a Christian, but there is always a way out. 
"Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." (Psalm 42:5 NIV)

I read recently in one of Joyce Meyers books that: If you've been hurt and learned to overcome it, you have a valuable tool help others. God comforts us so we can comfort others. Here's the progression: We are hurt, we allow God to heal us, and we are ready to help others. Hurt, heal, help! It's a process that can literally change your life, and the lives of many others around you. It inspired me to do this study and I hope from now, you will be able to use your broken hearts too for His glory. 

#Martha

Life is short,have desserts first..!! (But they melt too...)

Wendy Mass, the famous American children's author has quoted the following statement ' Life is short, have desserts first'. Well, that is indeed a catchy statement. The statement simply implies to have all the fun you have as life is short. But the implications of that statement are to be considered seriously.

The mantra of the mass has also been strikingly similar. Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die.Man, as a social creation is curious to explore the world around him. He is willing to indulge in any activity for that brief moment of pleasure. The author's call to have desserts is in striking contrast with the short life time of a dessert. Desserts can be anything that man lusts after to get a high.

Drugs, Alcohol, Sex or anything under the sun that gives him pleasure for even a short time. His stimulations give him a higher dopamine level and arouse feelings of pleasure for a brief period but they fail to satisfy him fully. As each dessert he tries melts, he goes for newer ones with different flavors. But, Has there been any dessert so far that has satisfied him fully?. He tries and tries all his life and ultimately dies. That is something that man fails to realize. My life is like a dessert too. It can melt at any moment. " Vanity of Vanities" said the wisest and richest man who lived on earth , King Solomon. As a person who had at his disposition the very best to enjoy, Isn't his statement rather contradictory?. This was a statement that was born out of his life experiences. If he couldn't find satisfaction in all that he had and if he termed everything under the sun as vanity how much better can we assess our own situations..??

Desserts melt . They never last. Nothing in life is lasting. Man cannot justify and exercise his liberty over anything that he tramples upon with the argument of a short life. Remember even in the Garden of Eden, the habitation God had created man to live and enjoy had restrictions. There was a dessert that was forbidden, the fruit of the tree of life. It is true that God has created this earth for his creation to enjoy. But that freedom is bounded by norms, God himself has set. Man's conscience is one such inborn trait. No creation on earth has been blessed with such a trait. But sadly today, he has silenced even his own conscience by his acts of abuse and violence. Can man justify his pleasures? Have they satisfied him fully? Where is the dessert that can give eternal satisfaction?

You can enjoy the taste of every dessert in this world but their taste lasts only for a while. Have you the tasted the words of Him that is sweeter than the honeycomb?..It is the words of Jesus Christ. He is the living bread and the living water. Those who come to Him shall never thirst or hunger again for He satisfies like none other. He fills the God shaped vacuum in the heart of every individual, that longing for something to truly satisfy the soul.

The word of God says,

Isaiah 55:1

"Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost."

Jesus also said,

John 4:14

"But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life."

#Lazarus