In My Place

If there is a frequent thought that crosses my mind often while meditating on the suffering of Jesus, it's the thought of Barabbas. I cannot help but see myself standing in the place of Barabbas. 

The Bible says Barabbas was a notorious prisoner(Matthew 27:17) and a robber(John 18:40). He was chained with his fellow rebels, they had committed murder in the rebellion(Mark 15:7). 

In other words, a man who deserved to die. The wages of his sin was death. But when Pilate asks the crowd, Whom do you want me to release to you? Barabbas or Jesus? There was no comparison to be made between Jesus and Barabbas. On one side here is a man who served the people. Healed the blind, deaf and the mute. He cleansed the lepers. And on the other side is a notorious criminal who harmed the people. He was a threat to them. And yet the crowd shouted they wanted Barabbas. 

I like to imagine that as Barabbas was waiting in the prison, for his turn to be crucified. That’s when the soldiers must have told him  “Barabbas, you are a guilty man – but you will be released because Jesus will die in your place.” 

That's exactly who I was, I deserved to die. I deserved the penalty of my sins. I was waiting for my turn to be in eternal damnation. But a Man chose to die in my place. Lord Jesus laid down His life in my stead. 

A righteous Man, a Man who knew no sin, took the place of a notorious prisoner! Actually, He took the place of all mankind! So that you and I could taste eternal life. 

Below is a poem penned with the thought of being in Barabbas place: 

IN MY PLACE...

As I laid lone in that dark prison,

The sentence of death was imposed on me. 

The concrete cell was opened to me,

And after years I saw streams of light again. 

With confusion my eyes fought the shine,

And I feared why the door was open at this time. 

Was it already time I wondered,

For me to be crucified for I was guilty. 

But they told me I was free to go,

And said a man called Jesus would die instead. 

I couldn’t understand my emotions for a while,

Does this mean I have freedom and life again? 

As I walked the streets as a free man,

I saw people running up the mountains in haste. 

They shouted with rage Jesus is being crucified,

I joined the herd up that mountain  to see that man. 

As I made my way among the crowd,

I saw Him raised bleeding on the the cross. 

And there was only one thought that came to me,

'This Man died the death I had to die, He was in my place!!!’ 

-M@ry

Retaking Exams - The Thoughts of a Repeat Failure

If you were wondering where I was over the past 1 year, I was busy retaking an exam (repeatedly) that I have been miserably failing. I keep walking into the same exam hall (even when I have no memory of ever registering for the exam!), to take this test and walk out feeling disappointed with myself. Do you remember the thoughts you have had toward tough subjects back in school/college? Some subjects come across as 'never worth preparing for' because 'you are going to fail anyway'. 

This exam of mine is for a class that pretty much everyone has to take in God's School of Faith. It is called An Introduction to Persistent Prayer 101. 

(I bet some of you are like - "Oh that is one of my favorite classes!") Others (like me), are brought back to the same beginner level over and over again because somehow the lessons learned last time do not seem to stick. 

If you reflect back on the prayers you have prayed in the past, will you be able to put a time duration between Request First Placed & Answer Delivered? What was your average waiting time like? Was the amount of time invested in prayer proportionate to the value of the answer when you received it?

My main struggle is in being persistent or consistent in prayer. We live in a fast-paced world that offers everything with a click and a swipe. We do not have to go to the post office anymore, thanks to door-to-door delivery. It is natural (but not immutable) that we expect God to answer our "drive-through" prayers that we hope to pay for (or invest in) without reaching for our time wallets. 

But what is the longest we have stuck to an earnest prayer (with or without fasting) routine (like Daniel did for 21 days in Daniel chapter 10)? Are we falling into a hope & despair cycle, harboring bitterness against a God who seems silent today? 

Apostle Paul said he considers his life worth nothing, if only he may finish the race and complete the task Christ gave him - the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace. (Acts 20:24) How many times have we prayed for things that make our life worth living? We idolize the things we do not have. We believe that our life is wasting away as long as the desires (even God-given desires) of our hearts remain unfulfilled. We live discontented lives, watching God "actively" answering prayers everywhere else.

A thought that I recently read in "My Utmost For His Highest" by Oswald Chambers reminded me of the man who persistently bugged his friend in the middle of the night, for some loaves of bread to serve his guest. (Luke 11:5-8). The friend appears uncaring, but because of this man's persistence he eventually helps him out. Our heavenly Father often comes across as an unkind friend - but remember, He is not.  The time will come when everything will be explained. But till then, will God find the kind of faith that counts on Him in spite of the confusion?

So, the question is not only 'How long have you been praying?', but also 'How well have you been praying?'. Stand firm in the faith dear friend, believing that what Jesus said is true, although in the meantime you do not understand what God is doing. Much like the mother of Zebedee's sons requested of Jesus - often, we do not really know what we are asking Him for. (Matt 20:22)

#Martha